Sample Paper--Rainbow Review


It seems Tthe unfulfilled [potential] Y2K meltdown that worried the entire country was worried about did in fact claim a victim.  Before PDAs, camera phones, and wireless internet[,] the blind date was still a perfectly practical – though seldom successful – way to set two friends up meet someone and start a relationship.  But with the prophesy [prediction] of Y2K’s mass chaos not coming true and technology progressing at warp speed, the blind date has died[,] It has been replaced by what young adults are term  ing the [“]MySpace Revolution.[”]


Jennifer—Your lead paragraph was appropriately catchy for your clever and engaging topic.  I particularly liked your use of specific detail and the interrupted sentence (which I highlighted in aqua).  Next time work on conciseness and eliminating those wordy “to be” constructions.

Grade =    B       Revise and resubmit within a week to confirm grade.